Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn’t.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.

A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

The world will end tomorrow (unless postponed by rain).

I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting.

By the time you read this you’ve already read it.

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